And The Leg Says “NO”!

I have always been proud that I give myself my own intramuscular injections. I think I deserve a badge of honor like a navy seal that has rescued A US citizen from some foreign terrorist nation. Okay maybe not quite the same thing, but still I think it’s pretty impressive. Most people would run away at the very sight of the needle. Only a select few have the guts to give it to oneself. I don’t really like to be dependent on other people for anything. Sadly I’ve become very dependent upon my husband because I’m unable to hold down a job. I was always financially independent so that is a huge thorn in my side. To need him to give me an injection would be insult to injury.
There are about six needles left in my prescribed 20 injection treatment. Technically I should have been through this process two weeks ago. There are just some days, despite my warrior like courage, I just can’t do it. I let a few too many days lapse between injections.
A few days ago, I ran into a bit of trouble. I got out all my supplies and set up my iPhone to Capture a video of the injection process. My plan was to post this video on the Facebook site called take a bite out of lyme – the new disease challenge du jour. I was all set. I began unpacking the needle as I narrated what was going on. When I put the needle to my skin and began to push nothing happened. The needle wouldn’t go in. I pulled back and shook my head for a moment as if I didn’t really see that happen. I started again by putting the needle to my leg and pushed. Again, the needle did not want to penetrate the skin. Naturally my next words were “What the fuck?” I could not grasp what was going on. It seemed utterly impossible. Did my leg become cement in my sleep? “Perhaps I’m very dehydrated”, I thought to myself. “Maybe that’s why my skin won’t give.’ Logically I know skin can be broken through if enough pressure is applied. I decided I needed to push a little harder. In addition to applying extra pressure, I rolled the needle between my thumb and index finger thinking a drilling action would help. It wasn’t helping. I began applying even more pressure when the needle finally went in. It went in with great speed and force. I actually heard a pop as the needle broke through the tissue.
I sucked in my breath in momentary shock. I cannot believe how difficult it was to get that needle into me. I drew back on the plunger as necessary to ensure the needle was not in a vein. I got no blood so I proceeded to inject. When all the medicine was safely inside my muscle I pulled the needle out and swabbed the area with an alcohol wipe. My parting words were “that one sucked”.

Once it was over I got into the tub for detox bath and rubbed the area to disperse the medicine which helps absorption and also relieves the pain. As I soaked, I washed away the memory of what happened and just visualize in my mind the toxins seeping out of my pores and into the bathwater. I was visualizing my healing.

The next day my leg felt more tender than usual. I wasn’t remotely surprised by that fact given the force with which that needle went into my leg. Thank goodness there are two legs for me to use and two days before I needed to do another. Fortunately the next injection went smoothly. There was no resistance no added pressure needed and for that I was quite grateful. That brings me to yesterday.

I felt especially fatigued yesterday. I skipped coffee for the day and in doing so Learned how dependent I am on coffee to function. Driving home from the blood lab at noon, I started dozing off behind the wheel of the car. My eyes must’ve closed for a moment when I felt the road become rough beneath my tires. I open my eyes just in time to veer away from a telephone pole. I felt the instant rush of adrenaline as I said ‘holy shit”. It had been quite some time since I’ve nodded off while driving.

At my last LLMD appointment the doctor gave me an adrenal test kit. Because I was still being plagued by frequent fatigue, he thought it would be best to retest my adrenal glands to see if they are keeping up with my body’s demands. This tests procedure requires spitting into little vials at 8:00 am, 12:00 pm, 6:30 pm and 11:00 pm. I had just completed the test a week ago and did not have results yet. All this came to mind as I drove the last quarter-mile to my home. I said to myself “I better keep drinking coffee until I know the results of this test.” I also thought I should start taking the adrenal support supplement I didn’t think was necessary. Great- another freaking pill to jam into my medi-minder. I felt my mood deteriorating.

When I got into the house, I let Mimzy out of her crate, and outside for business. Then we crawled onto the couch together. We snuggled under the blanket, my head fully covered to keep the light from penetrating into my eyeballs. Shortly after getting settled I felt the gentle pressure of kitty feet on my chest. Kitty came to join in the snuggle fest. Ah- the fur protocol was in progress. My head was achy. I had that feeling; I call it “brain swell”. I was definitely flaring. I feel asleep in short order and finally began to stir at around 2:00. Not at all ready to pry myself from the sofa, I thought about the pot roast I was supposed to make and that Olivia would be getting home in less than an hour. I couldn’t be on the couch when she got home. I needed to look fine. I waited another 15 minutes and then got up. As I started browning the meat and chopping onions my mind drifted to the evening’s activities which would include another injection followed by a detox bath. Clearly I needed a detox bath.

Dinner was pleasant. Olivia gobbled up the pot roast including the vegetables and went for seconds. Allan complemented my efforts and was equally pleased there was a healthy dinner on the table that wasn’t burned. I Cleaned up with his help and went upstairs to begin the ‘process”. When I got upstairs I realized I forgot to take an injection out of the refrigerator where they are kept nice and cold. I went back downstairs to grab a needle and a piece of plastic wrap. I headed back upstairs feeling I would pass out on the last two steps. I got out of my clothes and into my fuzzy bathrobe. I looked for a spot on my leg that would host the injection and applied lidocaine generously. I cover the lidocane with plastic wrap. I checked the time to ensure at least one half hour past before I injected. Twenty minutes later I began to run the detox bath. With the steaming hot water on full blast I added the baking soda, epsom salt, and lavender oil for added relaxation.

With the tub filing up with scalding hot water, I swabbed my leg with alcohol wipes, unpackaged the injection and got down to business. The needle had barely pierced my skin when blood began pouring out. I had my typical response: “What the fuck?” I’ve grabbed another alcohol wipe and put it over the spot. It became saturated with blood a little too quickly for my liking. I got up and grab some toilet paper and applied pressure. Fortunately the bleeding stopped quickly. I wiped the needle down with another alcohol swab, examined my leg and decided I would move to a different spot a few centimeters away. I always spread lidocaine over fairly wide area just in case I need to do this. The needle pierced my skin in it’s new spot and again blood started pouring out. “Holy shit”, I said. “What is going on?” I pull back the needle and went for more toilet paper to sop up the blood. I sat for a moment staring at my leg, perplexed. When I remove the toilet paper I noticed blood pooling under my skin forming a bruise. This has never happened before. I have given myself 34 injections and have not had a problem until this week.

I turned off the faucet and went downstairs. I distracted hubby from his television watching to show him the bruise on my leg and explained what happened. I informed him that his services may be required as I didn’t think I would be able to do the injection into my leg tonight. His expression turned and his eyes kind of glazed over.  He must have realized he winced and got up off the couch to follow me back upstairs. I turned and gently relieved him of duty. I said “I’m going to take a bath first I’ll let you know when I need your help, thanks.”


“Bravery happens when you have nothing left to lose.” – Linda Osborn

I took my bath, massaged my bruised leg and decided to call it a night.  When I got out of the tub I rubbed myself down with coconut oil and started phase two of the detox process which included wrapping myself in a sheet and blanket to continue sweating out toxins. As I lay in my cocoon I freed my hands to use my iPhone. I Googled ‘complications of intramuscular injections’. I figured there had to be an explanation for the difficulties I encountered as of late.

My search yielded a number of discouraging facts about the practice of IM injections. The scholarly article listed the concerns.

Bleeding. Bleeding from the injection site is not uncommon. Significant bleeding and hematoma formation can occur if blood vessels are injured.

Ok, So, did I injure a blood vessel? Clearly a hematoma formed. I continued to read.

Nerve injury. Nerve injury is another serious complication of IM injections and occurs more frequently than originally thought.

Any nerve in the vicinity of the chosen injection site is likely to be damaged. Recent information has shown there is no specific medication that is neurotoxic when injected close to a nerve, but all will result in complete transverse necrosis of the nerve with extention of the necrosis to the exit of the nerve from the spinal cord if injected directly into any nerve.[4]

Well isn’t that special, I thought to myself.

Necrosis. Necrosis of the surrounding tissue following IM installation of a medication was not thought to occur unless the patient was allergic to the medication.[1] It has been found that necrosis of the muscle will occur after any IM injection no matter what medication is injected.[4] The only variable is the size of the necrotic lesion and the severity of it. Forceful placement of a volume of fluid into a closed space will cause damage. In other words, the surrounding muscle and tissues in the immediate area of the needle tip are subjected to the pressure of the mass of fluid that has been instilled into the area, which causes pressure necrosis. The toxicity of the medication, the volume injected, and even the speed at which the injection is given also will influence the size of the necrotic lesion.[20]

Ok, so I’m killing tissue by trying to kill bacteia. Is it me or does his seem counter productive?


Scar formation. The significance of the necrosis may be negligible when few injections are given, but if multiple injections are given, especially in the same area over a protracted period of time, the areas of necrosis may become quite large and result in large areas of fibrosis of the tissues. This may be manifested by hard nodules felt deep in the tissues and even sunken areas of scar tissue seen on the surface of the skin. Dystrophic calcification of the scar tissue can occur with time resulting in even more painful areas. Once this occurs, operative excision of the area is the only therapy. 

Ok, so this is probably why I couldn’t get the needle into my leg the other day. I have scar tissue build up from repeated injections. So I’m guessing my injection days are coming to an end. My stomach can’t take much more in the way of oral treatment. My body won’t be able to tolerate IM injections. What happens next. I guess this is why people turn to things like ozone therapy, rife machines and infared saunas.

I feel like there is no end to the misery this disease inflicts.Featured Song: Gravity – John Mayer


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